Im not a vegetable!

The surgery was a success. This was the fist time on anesthetics, and t was really weird. The guy put a mask over my face... and 30 seconds later (as far as I could tell) I was being roused awake by a cute nurse, with a pain in my throat. I was then moved upstairs into recovery where they hooked me into a bunch of machines. It was about 4:30 already, and I hadn't eaten since 10pm the night before. I was loopy, but hungry. they finally gave me some ice cream, Italian ices, jello and ice cubes to go along with the morphine.

the night shift started about 8pm, and I still had no desire to pee. they were getting worried. the night nurse was about the cutest Indian chick I have ever seen. So, just for her, I gave peeing the ole college try. I had to stand next to the bed and piss into a jug because I was plugged into the machines. It was hard enough with all of the wires, but she kept on interrupting every 30 seconds. I finally bullied her to go away. I squirted out a few thimble fulls, just enough to ease the pressure. It was all I could do with her interrupting.

About an hour later, they gave me another shot of morphine and soon after, I had to pee. I knew the drill, so I again bullied her to go away. I then overheard a conversation between her and another nurse that went something like this:
Other Nurse: 'What is he doing?'
My cute nurse: 'He is trying to pee?'
Other nurse; 'didn't he just get morphine?'
My cute Nurse: 'Yes'
Other nurse: ' He is going to piss all over the room!'
Needless to say, both nurses came running in and interrupted a very weak start. (So much for attempt #2). But this time, I noticed that the room had a head tucked away under the sink. I told the nurse to just let me sit on the head; this will resolve several issues as well as their concern about hosing down the room. So they unplugged me from the contraptions and left me alone for 10 minutes. What a relief! This became the drill every other hour for the rest of the night.

There was an older guy in the room next to mine. He was moaning and carrying on and from where I sat (being on morphine, remember) he was either in a great deal of pain, or was having some fun with a nurse. Between him carrying on, and my peeing, I got very little sleep.

I got home today about noon after stopping at the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions. Percoset in a liquid form that I need to take every four hours.

It hurts to swallow, otherwise I'm fine. I just won't operate any heavy machinery for the next few days.

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